


Realizations

by Hound_4



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:03:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8780617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hound_4/pseuds/Hound_4
Summary: “Hey, Ritsu, do you like me?” Mao asks almost hesitantly, Ritsu can tell he’s definitely unsure about even bringing it up.  As well as surprise at the question, Ritsu feels hope, which he tries to shoo away because there’s no way this is going to go the way he wants it to go.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set in their 3rd year.

It’s late afternoon, the early summer sun still shining annoyingly brightly and Ritsu’s half napping on the couch in the lounge. There’s a slither of light peaking through curtains that he didn’t quite manage to close properly before laying down but his energy is so sapped still from the walk home from school that he keeps putting off getting up and closing them fully so he can nap easier. He’s just about to roll off the couch and fix the problem when he vaguely registers the front door opening and footsteps heading for his bedroom. He’s ninety percent sure that it’s Mao come to wake him up early for some reason, the other ten percent of him is left wondering if a burglar has just entered through the unlocked door but Ritsu decides his nap is more important and that can be dealt with if and when the burglar comes into the lounge. A couple of minutes later he gets his answer as he’s being urged to wake up.  
  
“Hey, hey, Ritsu, I’m sorry to disturb you but, can I talk to you about something” There’s more than a hint of distress in Mao’s voice and Ritsu can’t really bring himself to ignore him. Yawning, Ritsu slowly sits up and blinks at Mao, trying to read the expression on his friends face in the near darkness of the curtained room.  
  
“What is it, Ma~kun, better be important to wake me up so,” Pausing, Ritsu yawns again, “Early.”  
  
Mao flicks on the lamp closest to where Ritsu was sleeping before sitting down on a spare bit of couch. Ritsu squints as the light comes on, trying to adjust to it. As he does he can see that the distress in Mao’s voice matches the expression on his face. Ritsu figures that he must have gotten into an argument with the other Trickstar members or that Student Council work is piling up more than even Mao can handle.  
  
“A girl from the producer course pulled me aside as I was leaving the student council room this afternoon” Mao starts, “She asked me if I was free this weekend.”  
  
“Oh? And she cried when you turned her down? How tragic, Ma~kun, come cuddle with me and forget about her” Ritsu lays down again, motioning for Mao to lay down with him.  
  
“No, Ritsu that’s not it, I told her it wasn’t a good idea but she seemed really desperate and I couldn’t take hurting her if I said no after that, so I said yes and now I don’t know what to do,” Ritsu can see Mao chewing on his lip as if deciding how to continue, Ritsu didn’t know if he did want Mao to continue, “I mean she was cute and she’s helped Trickstar out before so it’s not like I don’t know her and she is nice so I’m not really opposed to going on a date with her but-”  
  
“But you don’t feel anything for her?” Ritsu hopes like hell he’s correct on that because he doesn’t know how he’d react if Mao did actually have feelings for some girl. He wishes that they’d introduced the stupid producer course a year later, then Ritsu would be able to enjoy his and Mao’s final year without the lingering worry that Mao would end up dating some girl from school. Back in their second year he’d had enough trouble getting used to the sole girl in their school being friendly with Mao, although he’d managed to warm up to her himself, and the idea of her and Mao being friends. Despite his worries and jealousy at the time, the whole situation is something he guesses he should be grateful for or he’d never have been able to handle the current situation as calmly as he is. Mao had never liked her as more than a friend. This time might be different. He feels betrayed enough that Mao even said yes to this other girl and if Mao’s response is that he does like this girl, Ritsu decides he’s going to decide this is a nightmare and then go to sleep forever, pretending it never happened.  
  
“Yeah.” Mao looks down at Ritsu, face pleading for some kind of reasonable advice, “I know I shouldn’t have said yes in the first place but I was so afraid of hurting her.”  
  
“You’re too kind for your own good Ma~kun,” Ritsu tries to offer good advice, knowing he’s probably the worst person for Mao to have come to regarding this kind of thing, “Take her on the first date and then tell her afterwards that it’s not working, break it off as early as possible before you can do too much damage.”  
  
“That’s surprisingly sensible advice,” Ritsu feels like he should be offended by that statement but he doesn’t interrupt Mao, instead just rolling over to bury his face into a couch cushion, intent on finishing his nap “Thanks Ritsu.”  
  
“You’re the one who isn’t being sensible, isn’t Trickstar planning to properly debut when you graduate, you won’t be allowed to date girls soon any way so why didn’t you just tell her that.” Ritsu mumbles into a couch cushion, hoping Mao will let him have the last word and then let him sleep until it gets dark.  
  
“I guess maybe a bit of it was that too, if I’m not going to be able to be seen alone in public with a girl soon, it would be nice to experience what a date is like while I can,” Mao sounds embarrassed but Ritsu refuses to turn his head away from the cushion to look, “That’s really horrible and selfish of me isn’t it?”  
  
For a good half a minute Ritsu considers not responding at all and pretending he has fallen asleep again already because now he’s getting mad. Mao’s being an idiot and as much as Ritsu is relieved by Mao not having feelings for this girl, the reminder that Mao is one day going to stop being so oblivious to romance and be interested in girls, whether he’s allowed to be or not is not something he wanted to end this horrible conversation with. 

“Stupid Ma~kun, if you wanted to see what a date was like you could have asked me.” He knows he’s pouting and that he’s being unreasonable. That at his age he should really be starting to stop being so bratty and selfish but it’s just in his nature.  
  
“Ritsu I’m being serious here, stop joking,” Ritsu wants to retort and tell Mao that he isn’t joking but he tries to reign it in, tries to be the support Mao came to him for, “What do I do on a date any way, do I have to hold her hand or kiss her?”  
  
“Ew don’t kiss her,” Ritsu makes a disgusted face into the cushion, “I don’t know why you’re asking my advice, I’ve never been on a date either. Ask my useless brother’s unit mate if you want advice on girls”

“I feel like any advice I got from Hakaze-senpai would just result in her crying or to do things I don’t want to do,” Mao laughs awkwardly, “I never really had a good impression of him.”  
  
“Mmm, yeah you’re probably right on that” Ritsu’s glad at least, to hear Mao doesn’t want to do ‘things’ with his mystery unwanted date.  
  
“Speaking of him,” Mao starts, sounding like he’s about to start down a barely related tangent, likely one Ritsu won’t want to talk about either. He does, “How come despite him and Sakuma-senpai having debuted, he’s still allowed to date girls openly?”  
  
Oh good, more discussion about his stupid brother and his stupider friend, just what Ritsu wants.  
  
“They’re more of a rock duo kind of thing than a proper idol unit, so one of his selling points is that girls think he’ll screw them if they go to enough concerts.” Again, Ritsu makes a face into the cushion, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he does screw most of them.”  
  
“Don’t be so crude Ritsu.” Though despite his words, Mao sounds amused by Ritsu’s answer. If he’s waiting for another response however, he’s out of luck, Ritsu decides he’s had enough of the conversation and has committed himself to pretending he’s fallen asleep again, until he hears Mao get up and leave.  


   During the week leading up to Mao’s date Ritsu is rather cold towards Mao, he doesn’t try to be, forces himself to try act normal and not let his pettiness get the better of him but he knows he’s not succeeding all the time. He gets away with it unnoticed, almost, at least by Mao who thinks the change in Ritsu’s behaviour is due to the weather that week being unusually hot rather than Ritsu’s possessive nature.  Arashi is another story.

    It’s Thursday when Ritsu’s unit and classmate pulls him aside during a break at Knights practice. A day when the sun is so bright and so, everywhere that Ritsu is pretty sure that even if he wasn’t upset about Mao, he’d still be in a bad state. However as soon as Arashi opens his mouth, Ritsu knows he’s been caught.  
  
“What’s wrong Ritsu-chan, you’ve been lazier than usual,” Arashi whispers to Ritsu, despite the two of them being at the other end of the studio to the other Knights members, “I know it’s not just the sun, something, someone is getting to you aren’t they.”  
  
Ritsu tries not to look directly at Arashi’s eyes, feeling like the moment he does the other boy will see right through the lie he’s about to tell. There are far worse people to be confronted by but Ritsu doesn’t even want to bring this up with Arashi.  
  
“Nothing’s getting to me, Nacchan,” He hopes it sounds casual enough, “Vampires aren’t made to withstand such weather so I’m dying faster each time the sun gets brighter.”

“Don’t you try that act on me Ritsu-chan, I know you better than to believe that,” Arashi, of course, Ritsu thinks to himself, isn’t going to let it drop, “There are two people I know of who can get you down like this, one who’s moved to the city after debuting so it can’t be him. So, that leaves Mao-chan. Let me in honey and I can try help you out.”  
  
Ritsu’s almost tempted, he knows Arashi is far from the worst person to discuss this with. Except he’s tired and doesn’t want to bother complaining when he’d much rather just sleep for the remainder of their break. He’s also completely sure Arashi will just ask him what he expected from falling for a straight guy before rambling on about unrequited loves. And half sure he’ll at some point compare his crush on Mao to Izumi’s obsession with Makoto. Ritsu really doesn’t want to be compared to that.  
  
“It’s nothing Nacchan, now sit still so I can nap on your legs.” Ritsu’s tone is firm and when Arashi shuts up, Ritsu knows he gets the point. This isn’t something he’s going to go into. Not now any way.

   When the day of Mao’s date comes around Ritsu finds himself crawling back under the covers fully clothed after Mao’s left following their morning routine. If he can sleep until tomorrow he will, he doesn’t really want to acknowledge today as a thing that is happening. As the day continues he wakes up off and on, due to a combination of his refusal to ditch the comfortable winter blankets on his bed so soon in the season and the midday weather being far too warm for them to be there.  It’s ridiculous he thinks, that he’s able to fall asleep standing up at any other given time but he’s having such issues right now, Ritsu purposely doesn’t acknowledge the other likely contributor to his disturbed sleep. Finally managing to get himself out of bed for long enough to drag the unused fan from Rei’s old room and set it beside his own, he gets enough airflow in his room to makes things comfortable and goes back to his hibernation. His plan is dashed however, by Mao barging into his room not even two hours later, before he leaves for his date.

“Ritsu , oi! You can’t just go back to sleep like that, have you been sleeping since I left you this morning?” Mao pulls the blankets from Ritsu’s bed and Ritsu’s quick to cover his face with a pillow, trying to ignore that Mao smells like some fancy cologne and that it’s not him that Mao’s put it on for. “Ritsu come on, I want to double check my outfit with you before I go pick her up.”  
  
“I thought you didn’t like her” Ritsu flatly states.  
  
“I don’t, but if anyone sees me on a date, I don’t want them to think I’m embarrassing,” Mao defends himself, “And she’ll tell her friends if I look bad, I don’t want both that and the fact I dump girls after one date spreading around the school.”  
  
“Ma~kun always looks hot.” Ritsu peaks out from his pillow for a second, just long enough to see what Mao’s wearing and damn, he does look really good, “And today’s no different, now go pick her up and then dump her.”

Ritsu reaches for his blankets, trying to grab them before resigning to the fact he actually needs to see to find them, wherever Mao dumped them after unceremoniously pulling them from his bed. Ditching the pillow over his face properly this time, he manages to find them, his eyes settling on Mao’s nervous face before he pulls them over himself.  
  
“Thanks Ritsu” Mao’s voice is genuinely thankful and that annoys Ritsu even more.  
  
“Mhmm, I’ll try not to die here alone while you’re gone.” Ritsu’s unsure if Mao hears him at all when there’s no response for a few seconds, only footsteps headed for his door.  
  
“Don’t be like that, Ritchan.” Mao’s voice says from somewhere in the direction of his door, before he hears it close and is left alone again.


	2. Chapter 2

If anyone were to ask Mao how his date went, he’d probably lie and say it went fine but they didn’t click so they decided not to pursue a relationship. If Mao were to be honest about his date, it was terrible. He spent the first half of the film they went to see completely unable to focus on it and instead worrying about the state Ritsu had been in when he’d left, wondering if he’d been at fault for upsetting him. Then after pushing those thoughts out of his mind, he started to miss the way Ritsu would cling to him when they watched movies, feeling cold and alone despite the theatre’s air conditioning not doing anywhere near a good enough job to combat the heat and having a pretty girl beside him clasping his hand. It got worse during dinner, with no movie to distract them Mao was forced to hear the girl in front of him gushing over how talented and handsome he was, pouring feelings Mao could not return out to him and Mao attempting to politely answer in a way that didn’t hurt her but also didn’t lead her to believe he felt the same. Mao wasn’t used to things being so awkward with people, he was kind and warm and usually conversation and people were easy. This was not. After an hour and a half of forced conversation, he couldn’t take it anymore and let her down gently.  
  
“I’m so sorry,” He says, once they’re both outside of the restaurant and he hopes they’re in a private enough spot that if she does start crying, she’ll be able to hide her tears from passersby, he’s about to be cruel enough as it is “You’re an absolutely lovely girl but I just can’t return the feelings that you have for me, I thought maybe I could but tonight made it clear things wouldn’t work out.”  
  
He makes sure she isn’t crying, good, she isn’t, but her previous good mood is now nowhere to be found. He tries to say something more comforting, reaching for anything. What was it Ritsu had mumbled about Trickstar?  
  
“And Trickstar are planning to debut after graduation, you deserve better than a guy who won’t even be able to be seen with you in less than a year” He watches her sadly nod, hoping that somehow, that managed to soften the blow. “I’ll see you at school.”  
  
     He watches her turn and walk away and feels terrible as she does. He’s never going to accept another date without being sure he returns the persons feelings because now he knows, things would have been far easier for both of them if he’d been smarter and turned her down at school. Being too kind was, just as Ritsu said, his downfall. As he walked away from the restaurant he had to wonder how low Kaoru’s morals were to do things like this all the time. Playing with girls hearts, even unintentionally, is painful.  
  
    Afterwards Mao heads to Ritsu’s rather than straight home. While he’s unsure if Ritsu will do any good in cheering him up if he’s still in the mood he left him in, he won’t be able to settle down until he makes sure his childhood friend is okay. He finds Ritsu still in bed, despite it now definitely being night, and flops down beside him.  
  
“I dumped her and it feels terrible,” Mao sighs, “I’m never doing that again.”  
  
Ritsu rolls over, freeing his arms from his blankets as he does and wraps them tightly around Mao. They lay there like that for a couple of minutes in silence. It’s the most comfortable Mao’s been all day, he supposes it’s a little embarrassing to still be comforted by laying in bed with Ritsu like this at his age but he ignores that in favour of watching Ritsu sleepily blinking, trying to finally wake up.  
  
“You did the right thing, Ma~kun,” Ritsu presses a kiss to Mao’s forehead before continuing, Mao’s glad he seems to have bounced back to normal so fast, “I’m happy you’re never doing that again.”  
  
“It was awful, I’ve never felt so awkward with another person before, I think I kind of know how you feel when you’re forced to spend time with people you don’t like now,” Mao laughs, trying to brighten his own mood, “I couldn’t even make small talk over dinner properly.”  
  
“Mmmmm, nah, Ma~kun will never be as bad with people as I am.” Ritsu yawns.  
  
“Even if you’re bad with people, I kept thinking it’d be nicer if you were there instead of her.” Mao look at Ritsu fondly before rolling onto his back and folding his arms behind his head. “Maybe I should have done what you said and taken you on a date instead of I wanted to experience dating.”  
  
Not taking his eyes off the ceiling he feels Ritsu shuffle over and cuddle up against him again, burying his head in Mao’s side. Mao has to fight the urge to pet Ritsu’s head, not wanting Ritsu telling him off for initiating contact to ruin the comfortable mood they have.  
  
“Don’t say things like that if you don’t mean them Ma~kun,” Ritsu whines, “You’ll get my hopes up.”  
  
    They continue to lay that that for a while longer, Mao isn’t sure how long, being with Ritsu can make him lose track of time. It’s only when he finds himself starting to fall asleep with Ritsu clinging to him, able to feel Ritsu’s breath warm and even through the fabric of his shirt, that he realises he should probably head home. His parents would probably just assume he was at Ritsu’s any way if he didn’t return home but he probably should sleep in his own bed. Looking down at the disarray of black hair that is the top of Ritsu’s head, he wonders if Ritsu’s fallen asleep again, or if he’s just been enjoying the moment like Mao has.  
  
“Ritsu… Ritchan, I need to head home now, could you let me go?” Mao feels Ritsu hug him tighter before withdrawing his arms. It’s Mao’s turn to stifle a yawn now as he gets up from Ritsu’s bed, he’s almost surprised to see Ritsu following him, stretching like a cat before walking Mao to the front door.

“Ma~kun,” Ritsu sing songs. Looking up from tying his laces, Mao can see Ritsu’s smiling, looking properly awake for the first time today, “Thanks for still being my Ma~kun.”  
 


	3. Chapter 3

Arashi notices almost immediately that Ritsu is in a better mood when Monday rolls around. He has the decency not to mention anything in class, where Mao is around, and far more alert than Ritsu ever will be in a classroom. Instead Arashi flicks messages to a couple of friends in the producer course, information always travels faster through there he’s found, getting two near identical basic recounts of known information involving Isara Mao and a date with a second year  girl that took place on the weekend. Neither girl knew the specific, more interesting details of the date but he knows what he needs to know now. Mao definitely went on a date with a girl a year below them in the producer course and Mao definitely dumped her later that same night.

    It’s not until after Knights practise that afternoon that Arashi calls Ritsu aside. He had considered skipping, taking Ritsu to the garden terrace and cornering Ritsu over expensive cake and tea but it was still early enough in the year that the two new additions to Knights really needed both third years there for support. And Tsukasa really needs them both there so he won’t stress eat over their lack of attendance and not fit his stage costumes any more. Arashi supposes that it’s nice, that Knights is now like this, even though their little family from last year has half graduated, the unit still has a more unit like feeling to it, rather than the individuals who occasionally get on stage together vibe it had had for most of his school life.

“So, Ritsu-chan, I heard some things from a few girls in producer course.” Arashi begins, putting down his hairspray and mirror to address the boy directly.  
  
“I’m not interested in gossip Nacchan.” Ritsu replies tiredly, not looking impressed, “I thought you’d asked me to stay back so you could talk about something important.”  
  
“But Honey this is important and I don’t think it quite counts as just gossip when it directly affects you.” Arashi’s voice is slightly exasperated, “Mao-chan went on a date didn’t he?”  
  
Ritsu doesn’t reply, instead he takes great interest in refolding his practice clothes and inspecting the contents of his bag.  
  
“Ritsu-chan, listen to me please. I know he dumped her and I know you won’t want to talk about any of this but it’s important you come to terms with things before you get seriously hurt.” Arashi’s voice is as soft and kind as it gets and dropping nearly all the usual flamboyance of his normal speech patterns, his words are carefully chosen in hope that Ritsu won’t just decide to run off. “I know this isn’t really my place to meddle, but-“  
  
“But I’m going to end up in trouble for so hard for a straight guy?” Ritsu does not look impressed, his usually tired looking deep red eyes now on fire with anger as he retorts, “Yeah like you’re one to talk Nacchan, the only guy you’ve ever fallen for who isn’t straight is Mikarin and he’s probably got something going on with his Mentor already so don’t pretend you’re any better at this than I am.”  
  
Arashi sighs audibly, he never expected this to go well but he’d hoped it would go better than this.  
  
“Don’t bring me into this Ritsu-chan, it’s safer for me to pine after straight guys since I can’t stand people falling in love with me.” Arashi pauses, unsure if he should bring up his next point, “I’m not saying you’re anything like him but, I don’t want to see you getting messed up over unrequited love like Izumi-chan did.”  
  
Arashi doesn’t miss the way Ritsu rolls his eyes.  
  
“I knew you’d compare me to Secchan if I talked about this with you, so that’s why I didn’t.” Ritsu sounds disappointed, slinging his bag over his shoulder and starting to head towards the door, “I’ve known for years that I loved Ma~kun and I’ve known for almost as long that he’s not gunna like me back like that. Don’t pretend you know what’s going on when you don’t.”  
  
    Silently Arashi watches Ritsu walk out of the studio and turn the corner into the hall. It’s truly sad, watching his friends suffer from unrequited love never got any easier. Picking up his hairspray again, Arashi gets back to fixing his hair, wondering if the new members of Knights will have any better luck in love than last years or if this is just a cursed unit.


	4. Chapter 4

Almost as if the date incident had never happened, Ritsu and Mao fall back into their usual routine immediately. Mao’s completely stopped talking about dating people, which Ritsu thinks is for the best, he didn’t want to have to deal with feeling jealous and betrayed again so soon. He knows he should just be happy for Mao as long as Mao is happy but he can’t help his nature. He guesses he should be glad that, aside from that one weird date, Mao seems still pretty much entirely oblivious to anything romance related. Maybe if Mao wasn’t so oblivious to things like that, he’d have caught on to how Ritsu feels and things between them might be weird. He’s happy at least that for as long as Mao stays clueless, he gets to spend time with Mao how he does.  
Except Mao doesn’t stay oblivious. About a fortnight later Ritsu is dozing off with his head in Mao’s lap and the other boy memorizes lyrics for a new Trickstar song, Mao’s voice is beautiful but Ritsu would rather he did student council work or something else quiet that would let him sleep easier. When Mao does stop singing Ritsu’s about to thank him for being considerate enough to be quiet so he can sleep, when Mao speaks first.

“Hey, Ritsu, do you like me?” Mao asks almost hesitantly, Ritsu can tell he’s definitely unsure about even bringing it up. As well as surprise at the question, Ritsu feels hope, which he tries to shoo away because there’s no way this is going to go the way he wants it to go.

“Of course I like you, Ma~kun,” Ritsu replies in his usual tone, hoping Mao will drop things there so he won’t have to be disappointed.

“Be serious Ritsu, in what way do you like me?”Mao pauses, setting down the music he was holding before continuing, “Makoto’s been asking for details about the date I went on since he found out about it. I told him how awkward it was and how terrible it made me feel but then I mentioned how you’d responded that I should have just asked you on a date instead and he said it sounded like you had a crush on me.”

“Ma~kun really is clueless to how people feel about him isn’t he?” Ritsu leaves it off there, really, really hoping Mao will let him and just go back to singing the cheerful song he’d been singing minutes ago. He’d be lying to say he wasn’t a bit annoyed too, how dare Mao go sharing the things they say to each other with other people. Things like that are only meant to be for them.  
“Ritsu.” Mao says firmly, still wanting an answer.

Rolling towards Mao, Ritsu wraps his arms around his waist.

“Sing to me more Ma~kun, you have a pretty voice.” Ritsu can hear Mao sigh above him, finally getting the hint that Ritsu isn’t going to talk about this any further.

“You really are troublesome, aren’t you, Ritchan?” Mao says, Ritsu’s sure that if he could see Mao, the other boy would be shaking his head. Picking back up the pages he’d been singing from earlier, Mao begins the song from the top.


	5. Chapter 5

“Narukami, can I have a moment?” Mao manages to catch Arashi on Wednesday before he leaves the classroom for lunch. Ritsu had already left, stretching lethargically before mumbling something about the tea club and walking out the door. It’s unusual for Mao to want to talk to him specifically and Arashi tries not to jump to conclusions before Mao’s even said anything.  
  
“My, Mao-chan, it’s rare that you call out for me, could it be you want a refresher course on making chocolates? Oh but the Valentines and White Day festivities for the year are over aren’t they? So is it something class related?” Arashi flashes a knowing smile and winks, lowering his voice to barely more than a whisper before continuing, “Or is this about Ritsu-chan?”  
  
It’s obvious from the look on Mao’s face that he didn’t expect Arashi to be able to figure that out. He’s used to people thinking he’s far less perceptive than he actually is and while at times it’s annoying, it’s always cute to see his class and unit mates surprised by him nailing things on the head.  
  
“It’s… if you’re free during lunch, can we go somewhere more private? I don’t want people overhearing.” Mao looks very uncomfortable at the idea of being overheard and it becomes even harder for Arashi to try not to jump to conclusions about how their conversation will go.  
  
“Sure honey, the track and field club don’t have practice today so no one should be using the field right now.” Swinging his bag onto his shoulder and resting a hand on his hip, Arashi waits for Mao to grab his lunch and water from his own bag before leading the way.  
  
    As Arashi had predicted, the field is empty of students, only a few birds pecking at the grass keep the area from being completely lifeless. Finding a spot to sit along the tree bordered school fence that meets both boys preferences proves slightly difficult though, with Arashi refusing to sit in direct sun for fear of sun damage and Mao being cautious about sitting under trees surrounded by flowers for fear of setting off his allergies. Eventually they settle under a tree with patchy coverage but no flowers, after Arashi double checks that he does indeed have sun screen in his bag and applies it to his bare arms. Able to tell Mao is still a bit uncomfortable about whatever he’s about to mention, Arashi sets out to start on his lunch thinking Mao will start talking once he’s relaxed. Mao, as if taking a cue from Arashi, starts his own lunch at the same time. Minutes pass and Arashi realises he’s looking down at a half eaten salad but they haven’t even approached what they came here to talk about yet.  
  
“As lovely as it is to have a lunch date with such a hard working boy as yourself, let’s get to the point” Arashi waits for Mao to finish his mouthful before continuing, “What is it about Ritsu-chan you wanted to discuss?”  
  
Mao takes a sip from his water bottle as if delaying responding.  
  
“I, um, Narukami, does Ritsu have feelings for me that you know of?” He slowly says.  
  
This is definitely going one of the ways Arashi saw it going. Hiding one hand behind his back, Arashi crosses his fingers for Ritsu.  
  
“Oh my! Mao-chan, that’s something you should be asking him not me.” Arashi brings his other hand to his mouth in mock shock, “I might love indulging in girl talk and gossip but things like this you really need to ask the person yourself.”  
  
“I tried, he avoided the question,” Mao turned his gaze from Arashi to his water bottle, watching the contents splash against the sides as he shook it. Arashi felt sorry for him, while most people wouldn’t just admit their feelings if confronted, Ritsu was the kind of guy who always had 3 or 4 cunning new ways to get out of doing things he didn’t want to do. It was hard to figure out where to go from there, if he knew Mao liked Ritsu back, the conversation would be simple but being almost completely sure Mao didn’t like him in the same way, his next approach would likely end up at a dead end as well.  
  
“Oh, well, that sounds like Ritsu-chan alright,’ Arashi reached a hand out, resting it on Mao’s shoulder and making the other boy focus on him again, “I think, maybe a better way to approach this would be with your feelings. Expecting Ritsu to tell you his when asked, without telling him how you feel first is awfully selfish don’t you think?”  
  
Realization dawns on Mao’s face before he furrows his brow in thought. A half joking comment about how he’ll get wrinkles if he screws up his forehead like that almost escapes Arashi’s mouth before he catches himself, serious discussion time, not trying to delay signs of aging time.  
  
“I didn’t consider that.” Mao visibly hesitates before continuing, “Though, that does raise a new issue, I don’t know how I feel about Ritsu, I’ve never thought about it.”  
  
The idea of not understanding your feelings about someone isn’t something Arashi has ever had to deal with but, he’s willing to help Mao try. This is far better than Mao responding that he doesn’t or can’t have a crush on Ritsu, provided that it’s not just going to end up with Mao deciding he really doesn’t like Ritsu as more than a friend after all. He decides that after today he may as well add ‘Love Counsellor’ to his list of qualifications, alongside model and idol.  
  
“Well then, this is quite the predicament, you don’t dislike the idea of him liking you then?” Mao shakes his head, “Is there anything you specifically do or experience with Ritsu-chan then, that you wouldn’t want him or you to do or experience with others?”  
  
“Well.” Mao starts, before stopping to think, “I guess I’d not like it if he relied on anyone else in the same way he does with me. Like if someone else was dragging him out of bed in the mornings and getting him ready for and to school…. I might feel relieved at first but I think I might hate that very fast, and-”  
  
Mao stops abruptly, looking slightly embarrassed. It’s a cute look Arashi thinks, the faint blush and sheepish smile. Things are already looking brighter for Ritsu than Arashi would ever have guessed they would be, in fact he’s almost a little jealous. Maybe he was wrong about Mao all along.  
  
“And?” He presses, “No need to be embarrassed, my lips are sealed and I’ll throw away the key. So don’t be afraid to be honest.”  
  
“It’s just a bit weird I guess, since we don’t really talk that much outside of class ativitires and now I’ve come to you with this which is, well,” Mao trails off.  
  
“We might not talk all that much but we’re both close to Ritsu-chan so this isn’t totally weird.” Arashi smiles and winks, trying to loosen up the mood, “And we both know there’s no one better in this school to discuss matters involving boys with. Now come on, I think we were starting to get somewhere.”  
  
Mao swallows and nods, looking down at his barely touched lunch before he continues.”  
  
“And while I know he’ll cuddly up to just about anybody willing to let him sleep beside them, I think I might feel jealous if he did some of the other things he does with me to others.” The blush on Mao’s cheeks darkens about three shades and Arashi’s eyebrows raise so high that he has to tell himself to stop that or he’ll get wrinkles.  
  
“Oh my Mao-chan, what kinds of things has Ritsu-chan being doing to you? How immodest.” Arashi has it in his mind to scold Ritsu if he has been doing anything remotely lewd with Mao.  
  
“Oh no no no no no, it’s nothing like that.” Mao’s the one looking shocked now and Arashi turns to scolding himself internally for jumping to conclusions, “He just does things like kiss the back of my neck if I’m piggy backing him or the other night he kissed my forehead as he was cuddling me and  while it’s embarrassing, I think I like it? I’d feel jealous if he did those things with other people at least.”  
  
“Oh, well, that’s far less immodest.” Arashi sighs, thoroughly relieved, “I’m not going to tell you how you feel about Ritsu but if you don’t want him relying on others to the extent he does you and you don’t want him kissing other people, well, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.”  
  
“Thank you, Narukami.” Mao says warmly.  
  
“Any time you need advice in matters of love, Mao-chan.” Arashi picks up his lunch again, “Now how about we finish this little lunch date of ours now that you’ve got some homework to think about?”  
  
“Actually, I think I might go see if there’s anything more student council work for me to do, working on that kind of thing always helps me think.” Starting to gather up his things, Mao flashes Arashi a smile as warm as the day’s sun,” Thank you again, Narukami.”  
  
Watching Mao head back towards the school Arashi himself breaks out into a wide smile, resisting the urge to reach for his phone and spill the beans to Ritsu. _‘Good news Ritsu-chan, your hopeless crush might not be as hopeless as I thought’._ Lips sealed though, right, he’d said that. He hopes Mao can figure himself out soon, Knights members might have a terrible history with unrequited love but Arashi hopes that Ritsu at least, will get his happy ending.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s not until Sunday that Mao gets to spend time alone with Ritsu again. Knights has been upping Ritsu’s workload with extra practices and preparation for an upcoming DreamFes and while Mao is always busy due to Student Council work, he swears the workload managed to double in the past couple of days. In a way Mao is okay with that, he guesses, he gets to take his time to think about how he feels about Ritsu. While denying or approving the many requests stacked in the Student Council room, he can let his mind wander back to how his heart jumped a little when Ritsu had managed to pull him into bed with him that morning, wrapping his legs around Mao’s waist and telling him sleepily that it was _'too late to resist now, this is Ma~kun’s fate’._ Maybe it was his fate he thought and he was certainly warming up to the idea that he might indeed like Ritsu as more than just his childhood friend. Making rash decisions, or even slightly under-thought about decisions wasn’t on the menu though, Mao had to make double, triple sure he wasn’t just letting Arashi’s words influence how he was thinking before he even thought about approaching Ritsu about this.  
  
    Artificial light illuminates Ritsu’s bedroom despite it only being 2pm, being at Ritsu’s place can really mess with Mao’s perception of time sometimes, the almost constantly drawn curtains and slightly yellow glow of electric lighting make him feel like it’s stuck in an eternal night. He’d intended for them both to do their math homework together but Ritsu was so slow to answer questions and so bad at selecting the right formulas, that Mao had long finished while Ritsu was still struggling, laying on the floor beside Mao and constantly pestering him with questions about how to do this or how to do that. He was used to this, to some degree, knowing to bring manga with him because even in his best subjects, Ritsu took at least twice as long as Mao to finish his work but Ritsu seemed particularly stumped on what they’d been assigned currently. There’d been near silence for almost ten minutes, only the whirr of the now two fans in Ritsu’s bedroom and occasional flipping of pages or pencil scratching, when Mao feels a weight on his knee. Looking down, he sees Ritsu’s chin resting on it, face staring up at Mao’s.  
  
“Ma~kun, help me with the last question, I’m almost done,” Eyeing Ritsu’s paper he notices that Ritsu is indeed finally up to the last question and that the only thing he’s got wrong, this time, is that he’s copied the formula he’s using incorrectly.  
  
“Double check your formula, you’ve almost got it.” Mao tries to turn his attention back to his manga but just finds himself staring at it, not taking anything in. He’s not sure if his heart has only started fluttering after displays of affection like that from Ritsu since his discussion with Arashi or if it’s always happened but he’s only now aware of it, but, it’s definitely happening.  
  
    Ritsu doesn’t announce that he’s solved the final problem, Mao just hears a rustling of paper before Ritsu’s sitting his entire weight on one of Mao’s legs. As much as Mao’s coming to realise he does appreciate how touchy feely Ritsu is, there’s a limit to how much a single leg can take.  
  
“Ritchan, you’re heavy,” He opens his arms, welcoming for Ritsu to sit on his lap properly, instead of attempting to give him a dead leg.  
  
“Rude, Ma~kun.” Despite his protest Ritsu arranges himself in Mao’s lap so that Mao can continue reading over his shoulder, arms now around Ritsu’s waist. He can feel the rise and fall of Ritsu’s rib cage against his arms as he breaths and his hair just tickles Mao’s cheek where his chin rests on his shoulder. He thinks to himself that he likes this, really likes this and that he wouldn’t mind if they could stay like this for the rest of their lives. As if clouds have finally cleared from his mind, he realizes that he can now say with certainty that yeah, yeah he really does have a crush on Ritsu. Smiling to himself Mao flicks over the page in the manga he’s reading, too caught up in his thoughts to fully process what’s on the new page.  
  
“Oooh, so _that’s_ your type, Ma~kun,” For a brief moment Mao wonders if Ritsu hasn’t been lying about the vampire thing the whole time and if he’s a type of vampire that can read minds, then he sees what on the page. A full page shower scene of a very busty, very nude girl. Ritsu chuckles before continuing, “If that’s the case, the girl who asked you out definitely stood no chance.”  
  
Ah yes, just as Mao reaches the conclusion that he definitely has a crush on his childhood friend, Ritsu has to remind Mao of exactly how much of a brat he can be.  
  
“I-It’s no, jesus Ritsu, have you ever read manga before, scenes like this are everywhere,” Mao knows his face is probably about the same colour as his hair by now, “This is pretty much the opposite of my type. Even if it was, girls like this don’t exist in real life.”  
  
Ritsu tilts his head in a way that he can see Mao’s very flustered face and chuckles again. Mao is pretty sure, no, definitely sure that he’s about to die from embarrassment.  
  
“Nah, you’re wrong, there’s a second year girl in the tea club who looks like that,” Ritsu says casually, “They exist.”  
  
Mao knows he’s showing his confusion on his face. Since when did Ritsu pay much attention to how girls looked? Or has he been so busy lately that he hasn’t noticed this side of Ritsu and has been potentially misreading his friend entirely.  
  
“I.... didn’t think you were into,” Mao pauses, unsure how to phrase where he's going with this, “That kind of thing.”  
  
“Oh, I’m not,” Ritsu sounds far too smug for Mao’s liking, “But when they’re so there, it’s hard not to notice, they look like pillows, might be nice to sleep on.”  
  
“Oh my god Ritsu.” If Mao thought he was embarrassed before he’s definitely managed to double that amount. And only a minute ago he'd thought he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life with this guy, incredible, “You better not go around using girls breasts as pillows. You’re literally the worst.”  
  
“I am the worst.” After declaring that like it’s something to be proud of, Ritsu shuffles again so he can face Mao and bury his face into Mao’s neck. “And that must be why Ma~kun likes me so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to finish this up soon but I wanted to get the first bunch of chapters up before I chickened out about posting them at all.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s hard, Mao discovers, trying to figure out if he should confess to Ritsu and if he decides to, how. Really hard. Over the past almost week since he fully realised his feelings, he’s kept mulling over how to confess or when and where to do it. While he knew he was probably over thinking the confession, if he went for it he didn’t want to screw up, or worse, end up in a situation like telling Ritsu while he was half asleep and for him to not comprehend that he was being confessed to at all. He’d taken a few days to think about things but even then, still found himself stressing over them. Like what would happen if he confessed and Ritsu didn’t like him back or about what them dating would mean for them post-debut. In the event Ritsu didn’t like him back, Mao figured at least that it wouldn’t cause Ritsu to hate him, that he’d only hold that over Mao’s head as an excuse to be even brattier, so he was safe there. The debut one was harder though. Ritsu didn’t really talk about what he would do after school, it wasn’t as simple for him, Mao knew, since the only other unit member graduating with him was Arashi and Arashi would probably return to modelling rather than continuing as an idol, he did assume Ritsu would debut in some way however. Mao couldn’t imagine Ritsu ever working a normal job. If they both debuted, two idols and past classmates from Yumenosaki spending time together wouldn’t be suspicious and it would be easier to go on dates since Ritsu was a guy and people would just assume they were getting dinner as friends but the level of scandal if they ever got found out would be career ruining. Maybe it would even be wise to keep their relationship quiet at school, the idol world was cruel and with the increase in students with the producer course, it probably wasn’t wise to give so many people such potential ammunition against them. Thinking about and stressing over all this when he didn’t even know if Ritsu liked him back felt silly. Mao felt a bit silly in general, feeling incredibly obvious about how he felt whenever he was with Ritsu, thankfully, he guesses, they  haven’t seen each other that much since the weekend due to their schedules seeming to be designed to keep them apart outside of class at the moment.   
  
    Not that that made being in class any easier. Mao’s focus wanders over to Ritsu, chin in his hand, eyes drifting shut before he catches himself and flutters his eyes open in a struggle to stay awake. In that state, Mao knows Ritsu won’t be taking in anything that’s being taught but it makes his chest swell to see him trying. A fond smile tugs on his lips before he catches himself, not only should he be focusing on the lesson himself but he’d rather not be caught gazing lovingly at Ritsu by his classmates. As Mao turns his head back to the front of the room he catches Arashi’s eye, the other boy winking knowingly and he feels his face heat up, knowing he’s at least been caught by Arashi. Though he should have realised that would happen, Mao’s very quickly learning that despite appearances, not much gets past Arashi. In fact he wouldn’t be surprised if after their talk, Arashi had managed to figure out he liked Ritsu before Mao had figured it out himself. Maybe, he decides, he should try talking this over with Arashi again.  
  
    By the time class finishes he’s made up his mind. Most of the students have already started to clear out, on their way to club or unit activities but Arashi is taking his time to reapply lip balm and check his reflection, his note book and pens still spread out on his desk.  
  
“Narukami, do you have a minute? I need to go over some paperwork you submitted for the Track and Field club with you.” Mao sees a split second of confusion flit across Arashi’s features before he smiles brightly, understanding what Mao’s asking.  
  
“Of course! Oh but I only have about ten minutes or so right now so if there’s too much paper work to revise we might have to do a rain check.”Arashi sounds all too happy to help, much to Mao’s relief. He wonders if they can just talk here rather than taking the time to go up to the student council office, which might not even be empty. Looking around there are a few people hanging around, but there’s enough noise coming from Koga bragging about his guitar skills at the other end of the room that they can probably get away with talking in hushed whispers here, “Knights has a dress rehearsal this afternoon but we’ve got time to grab a bite or run errands beforehand. I ate more than I should have at lunch today so, I’m all yours.”   
  
After grabbing a few sheets of blank paper from one of the binders in his bag to strengthen his _‘this is a matter between track and field club and the student council’_ case, Mao pulls up a chair to Arashi’s desk and waits for the other boy to file his book away. Briefly he wonders why Ritsu cleared out so fast if Knights has a bit of time before having to meet, he then realises that Ritsu must have headed to their studio to nap for as long as possible before he’s needed.  
  
“So, I think you’ve managed to guess the conclusion I came to,” He begins, glancing around the room to make sure no one’s looking their way and hoping he’s whispering quietly enough, “There are a couple of things I’m having trouble with though.”  
  
“Honey if you were trying to be subtle you failed big time. Thankfully everyone else in this class is about as dense as you were when it comes to this sort of thing,” Arashi pulls a pen out of his desk and clicks it on, handing it over to Mao, “Why don’t you write down your troubles it might be faster that way.”  
  
Taking the pen Mao makes two bullet points, quickly writing them down, before passing the pen back to Arashi:  
_‘-What if he doesn’t feel the same way and how do I confess to him if I do?  
 -What it will mean for us as idols once we’ve debuted if he does return my feelings, do we keep it a secret even while we’re still at school?’_

He watches Arashi’s face turn from calm and nonplussed to thoughtful and concerned as he reads Mao’s writing. It looks like he’s about to open his mouth to respond but then second thinks it, turning the paper to properly face him and writing out his own response.  
  
_‘I wouldn’t worry about him not liking you back, even if he didn’t, it’s Ritsu-chan, he’s not going to hate you. As for confessing, totally, you two are childhood friends yeah? So don’t keep this a secret from him, you have nothing to lose from telling him at least. And also like, you’ve known him for years so just be yourself when confessing. Make it natural.’_

He stops writing and allows Mao to catch up on reading what he’s written. What Arashi’s written is not dissimilar to thoughts he’s had himself, which is a relief. He’s not as totally clueless as he could be when it came to this. Meeting Arashi’s eyes he smiles and nods, receiving a smile back before Arashi continues writing. This is perhaps the strangest form of conversation Mao’s ever been a part of, and he frequently converses with a very much asleep Ritsu in the mornings. It reminds him of how kids back when they were younger would throw notes across the classroom to communicate.  Arashi’s pen moves a lot slower the second time, dots of purple ink forming on the page where he rests it as he thinks.  
  
_‘Ritsu-chan is going to debut? That aside, this one is a problem though, I didn’t consider it at first since I’m just going to continue modelling after I graduate so it’s not really something I need to worry about as much but for you two… Look I’ll be honest, it’s not going to be easy but don’t let that get in the way of your love_ ♡ _. You’ll have to be super smart about being ‘friends’ in public, no holding hands, no public dates on romantic holidays. Make sure you’re open about being childhood friends though, tell funny and cute anecdotes from your childhood in interviews, make it so there’s no reason for people to question why you would be close. Maybe make sure to be seen alone in public with other guys too, so that it’s just something you do?  
And yes, keep it a secret at school, it might be wise to tell your unit since you’ll be staying together but otherwise, unfortunately with how many more students we have now….’_

Arashi’s expression turns solemn as he reaches the end of his message, whispering _‘I’m sorry’_ to Mao as he angles the paper to make it easier to read. Reading through his points, Mao agrees with what Arashi’s said. For someone who says he hasn’t thought about working around the idol worlds strict dating rules, he seems to be on point with what he’s saying. As long as they’re  both smart about things, they should be able to get away with this, Mao hopes Ritsu is willing to stop being so clingy in public after gradation so that being smart is easier. It’s then that he starts laughing quietly and reaches across the desk to grab the pen again.  
  
_‘That’s all really good advice... I feel so stupid, I’m taking this so seriously and I don’t even know if he likes me back yet’_  
  
A hand covers Mao’s and grips it comfortingly.  
  
“Don’t feel stupid about that or anything, you’re being smart. It’s a very good thing, especially with the world you’re going into,” Looking like he’s just remembered something he’s forgotten, Arashi uses his other hand to pull his phone from his pocket. A look of disappointment crossing his face as he sees the time, “Ah, time’s getting on though so I’ll have to cut our little chat short, I’m really sorry.”   
  
“Don’t be sorry, I’m sorry for taking up your rest time before unit practice,” Even if they couldn’t talk for very long, Mao feels like the nervous ball of stress that’s been residing inside him over the past few days is starting to clear. Even though Arashi had reiterated things Mao himself was thinking and just told him what was essentially common sense, maybe he’d needed to be told those things by another person in order to relax. Slipping his hand out from under Arashi’s, he gathers up the paper on the desk, making a note to burn or otherwise destroy the sheet of paper they’d been writing on and those directly underneath it once he got home, “You were a really big help, you’ve been a huge life saver in all of this really. Thank you.”

“Good luck, Mao-chan, update me, okay?” Arashi smiles at him softly before raising his voice to a more normal volume, “Well if that’s all you needed me to fix up I should really get going. See you later! Mao-chan!”

“I’ll let you know if I find anything else that needs sorting out but for now I think that’s all, I’ll keep you updated” Mao responds a little too cheerfully to just be talking about student council related matters but he doesn’t really care. He’s feeling like he can actually move forwards now.


	8. Chapter 8

 Girls in the seats around Mao squeal and cheer at deafening levels as Knights announce they’ll do an encore song to celebrate their win. Not that Mao is immune to the atmosphere himself, his arms are dead tired from waving his cyalume and he’s pretty sure he started to lose his voice from joining in the chants of _‘Encore! Encore!’_ with the rest of the audience. He feels almost guilty, knowing full well how drained they’ll all be from performing until now but the excitement was  infectious, pulling him in and making him shout with them despite himself. From where he’s sitting, in an admittedly very good seat, he can see sweat starting to soak through the layers of their regal costumes and them struggling to catch their breath without making it too obvious how exhausted they are. Ritsu has the most energy still as far as Mao can tell, his blood red eyes still bright and alert from where they peek out from sweat soaked bangs and a genuine smile on his face, Mao suspects this isn’t only due to the S1 being held at night but also in part to Ritsu likely sleeping as much as he could during set up during the day.

    Mao hadn’t been planning on attending tonight as anything other than a Student Council representative, flitting about and making sure all was going as planned from the student’s side of things. Both an outdoor stage and the auditorium stage were in use, the S1 was a new idea this year, allowing units including first year students to showcase their skill to the public and tickets had near sold out for almost all the performances. His plans had been altered slightly when a rather flustered looking first year producer had handed Mao and envelope ‘ _from Narukami-senpai’_ during lunch, the envelope containing a ticket to a reserved seat in the third row back to the Knights vs Ryuseitai timeslot on the stage. The production course student nowhere to be seen by the time he’d opened the envelope, Mao had been about to search down wherever Knights currently was rehearsing or setting up to return it, when Tori had stomped into the room complaining to Mao about how he better thank him for taking over his duties at the end of the night and how he’s just lucky Fine performed so early so that someone as competent as him was able to take over. Mao didn’t know what kind of magic or meddling Arashi had worked to persuade Tori, or more likely, to get Yuzuru to persuade Tori, to take over his duties on a night where he was also performing but he figured he should enjoy this miracle rather than questioning it.   
  
    Being so caught up in watching Ritsu’s expressions and the slight difference in mannerisms he had while in front of an audience, Mao hadn’t noticed the two first year Knights members exit the stage; only the three older members remained standing there. As if this had all been rehearsed they started moving almost simultaneously further to the front of the stage and closing the gaps between them. Their movements were so deliberate and spacing so even that Mao realises this must have been rehearsed. He wants to roll his eyes at how cocky that is, rehearsing for an encore as if they knew they would win, but it doesn’t surprise him. It also explains exactly why Ritsu had been busier with the lead up to this than most performances.   
  
“My ladies and lords, it is with regret that I apologise for our two new recruits, the two stars of this show will be not performing on stage with us for this encore,” Tsukasa begins, managing to be the image of a young noble despite the beads of sweat clinging to his hair and forehead, “We must allow them to rest their bodies when needed so they can grow strong to withstand the toughest of battlefields.”  
  
“We hope that us three battle worn and experienced Knights will be enough to please you for now,” Arashi picks up where Tsukasa left off, doing a sweeping bow to finish off his statement.   
  
“And if we aren’t, well,” Ritsu chuckles and his gaze sweeps the audience as if he’s speaking to each audience member directly. Then winks. Mao’s pretty sure that’s unfair. Trickstar has performed with Knights enough times in the past that he’s used to their brand of fanservice but it’s different being in the audience and being on the receiving end of it. He’s also never been around Ritsu playing up for the stage while being aware of his feelings, there’s something about the way Ritsu is on stage that is graceful and powerful, while still capturing a hint of the unique charm that only Ritsu could pull off. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”  
  
    The lights fade to black, Mao can barely make out their shapes repositioning themselves somewhere slightly further back on the stage. When they come up again, the three of them are facing with their backs to the audience, the half capes draped over their shoulders still fluttering from their recent movement. Most of the units are wearing their default stage costumes for tonight and Mao had assumed Knights were being a bit excessive with new costumes for the sake of it. He now understands that this was never just about them participating and winning, this was about them stealing the show entirely and establishing that this new version of Knights was just as strong as others before it. A slow piano tune is soon joined by a violin in a piece Mao recognises as one of the songs Knights had sung last year. The girls around him scream briefly upon recognising the song but quieten down just before the first line, one Mao is sure was originally sung by somebody else, is sung by Ritsu. They do an excellent job of adapting the originally five person song for three and while Mao can’t recall what the staging for this song originally was like, he’s sure their graceful yet strong dance moves are reminiscent of whatever the original dance was. This encore is going to have people talking about Knights for weeks afterwards and Mao has no doubt that this idea and strategy was definitely Ritsu’s. What happens after the instrumental though is a genius move Mao never would have seen coming but he now realises he should have excepted something along the lines of, after Ritsu’s hint during his line to the audience. A spotlight switches on to a walkway in the audience, revealing one of the two new Knights members, singing the first line of the bridge, three lines later a second reveals the other first year, also in the audience, a quiet squeal runs through the crowd each time, from there on they sing the rest of the song with the other three from where they stand. For the remainder of the encore he’s in awe, eyes following Ritsu’s every move on the stage, so thankful that he had a chance to see this. Silence follows the end of the song for a few seconds before the audience breaks into one of the loudest applauses and cheers that Mao has heard for a live at the school.  
  
     As soon as the performance is over Mao has to bring himself back to reality and hunt down Tori to ask if the rest of the night has proceeded smoothly. He would rather head backstage and congratulate Ritsu, and the rest of Knights too of course, on their win and curses his diligent attitude.  The other members probably don’t want him back there in their space while they’re so exhausted either so maybe it’s for the best that he has more to do. Most of the audience are still in their seats, chatting excitedly about the performance, allowing Mao to sneak out without getting caught in a rush of people leaving. Just outside the auditorium, he spots Tori and Yuzuru speaking to a man in a high visibility vest standing to the side and out of the path of the crowd that will soon be exiting, Mao assumes he’s one of the workers who had helped set up for tonight.  
  
“Oi! Saru!”Tori calls out, spotting Mao headed towards their trio, he nods to the man in the high visibility vest, saying something Mao can’t hear and the man walks off before Mao can reach them, “Everything’s been going great, I’ve done such a good job.”  
  
“Himemiya, Fushimi, hi. Is everything wrapped up on the outdoor stage?” Mao motions over to the direction the man is now walking in, “Congrats on winning earlier by the way, you guys were amazing.”  
  
Tori puffs out his chest in pride and Mao has to swallow a laugh at how despite the now second year having matured a lot since this time last year, he’s still quite the spoiled brat at heart.  
  
“Of course we were, I guess I should thank you for saying that though, or maybe I shouldn’t because I had to do all this extra work because of you.” He whines but Mao can tell he’s not complaining sincerely, “And yep, but they’re just waiting until the crowds have cleared out until they can start packing down properly.”  
  
“Well in that case I guess you’re free to go then since that’s all the performances over.” Technically Mao doesn’t have to stay any longer either but hanging around and busying himself with helping out the workers for long enough to wait for Ritsu to be ready to head home sounds appealing, “Thank you so much for covering for me tonight Himemiya and I’m sorry you had to stay later because of it, Fushimi. I think I’ll stay until the crowds have left though, just to be sure everything’s fine. See you Later!”  
  
“It’s no problem Isara-sama,” Fushimi replies, as polite as ever, “Young master enjoyed himself even if he denies it.”  
  
“Whatever Yuzuru,” Tori pouts, “Bye Saru!”  
  
    The dressing room Knights are using smells like sweat and hairspray when Mao’s let in by a weary looking Tsukasa, who has his phone to one ear and appears to be talking to a member of his family’s staff. Everyone is in various states of completely drained but the two first years despite getting a bit of a rest during the first half of Checkmate Knights are faring the worst, appearing to have changed back into their school uniforms and fallen asleep. They got off stage almost half an hour ago and Mao had figured everyone would have been far more composed by now but he can’t say he blames them. Ritsu looks up at Mao from the floor, where he’d been buttoning up his shirt very crookedly. Mao wonders if it’s due to exhaustion or if Ritsu is just generally bad at putting on his uniform since most mornings it’s put on for him.   
  
“Ah, Ma~kun, are you here to tell me how well I did?” Ritsu smiles tiredly, pushing himself up from the floor and collapsing against Mao. He isn’t sure which thought hits him first, the fact Ritsu definitely has not showered since getting off stage and definitely needs to, or the surprise he has at how listless Ritsu is despite it being night time.   
  
“You were incredible, Ritsu. That encore was something else though; did you come up with that?” Mao wishes he could tell the whole unit what a good job they’d done too but with three of them otherwise occupied and the only sign of Arashi being the sound of running water coming from the shower in the attached bathroom, that’s a bit difficult.  
  
“Yep.” Ritsu says smugly into Mao’s shoulder, his arms snaking their way around his waist “The producers who were working with us thought I was crazy when I said I wanted to rehearse an encore but I knew we would win so, maybe they were crazy.”  
  
“It probably did sound crazy at the time,” Mao laughs, he wonders if Ritsu would be okay with him hugging him back before remembering, no matter how preoccupied the others are, there are still other people in the room, “It was worth it though, I know why you were so busy with practices now.”  
  
“Mhmmm” Ritsu just hums in response taking a moment longer to hug Mao close, Mao hopes he can’t feel how fast his heart is beating, before letting Mao free. Without saying a word he searches the floor, bending over slowly to pick up his bag when he’s found it. “Ma~kun, carry me home.”  
  
Mao is about to respond with telling Ritsu that’s half the reason he came back here but he catches the two sleeping figures out of the corner of his eye and wonders if they’re going to be okay and if they’re going to be able to get home. As much as he’d love to just leave now, the two youngest Knights need to be able to get home safe.  
  
“Are they going to be alright?” He tilts his head in the direction of the first years.  
  
“Yeah, Suuchan’s getting his driver to come and help carry them to the car and they’ll make sure they get home safe, plus Nacchan’s here so it’s fine if I go. Come on, Ma~kun.” Ritsu takes a few steps towards the door and waits for Mao to follow.  
  
“Well done tonight everyone!” Mao says a voice that he hopes it won’t wake the first years but might be loud enough that Tsukasa and Arashi can hear him, before following Ritsu. “I’m not going to carry you though.”   
  
“But I’m tiiiiired,” Ritsu whines, leaning against Mao and wrapping his arms around one of Mao’s as they walk down the hallway towards the backstage door. Mao’s already resigning himself to the fact he’ll likely have Ritsu on his back by the time they’re half way home, tonight he’s extra powerless against Ritsu’s demands and night time or not, Ritsu did just last a killer performance. It’s not so bad at all if he spoils him after that, Mao decides.


	9. Chapter 9

Everything ached. That was the first though Ritsu had upon waking up. Blinking tiredly, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness of his room, he searched for who or whatever had woken him. It wasn’t Mao at the very least, this wasn’t Mao’s style of rude and bothersome wake up calls. That felt kind of lonely though, he always felt kind of lonely whenever Mao had more important things to do than pay attention to him. Coming across nothing, he reached for approximately where he’d left his phone on charge when he’d gone to sleep this morning. Ah, 5:42pm, that would explain things, he hadn’t been woken up by a cruel ghost sneaking into his room or anything, it was just late enough for him to wake up naturally. It would be nice to go back to sleep though, maybe until his body no longer hurt from overexerting himself so much the night before. Looking at his phone screen once more, about to put it down, roll over and go back to sleep, he noticed a message notification on the screen from Mao. Trust Mao to be the one to stop him from getting back to sleep. It was probably nothing, just a _‘I can’t see you this weekend cause I’m busy with blahblahblah things that aren’t you’_ but curiosity already had him squinting at his screen as the rudely bright green of Line’s start up screen flashed up. The message preview cut off after _‘I hope you got a good sleep and the uniform you’_ which wasn’t helpful and it was mean because it meant if he wanted to read the whole thing, Mao would know he’d read it. Though if Mao was busy with other things he wasn’t going to be checking that Ritsu had read his messages or not.  
  
_‘I hope you had a good sleep and the uniform you wore home made it in to the wash. Can you let me know when you’re awake? I wanted to let you sleep today because you probably needed it after last night but I want to come over.’_

Ritsu hesitated in responding, he could potentially get a couple more hours of sleep if he didn’t and Mao didn’t check for a read receipt, and why would he really, Mao probably wasn’t the type. Admittedly Ritsu did that when Mao took a while to respond but Mao wasn’t clingy and jealous with a crush on him like Ritsu was. On the one hand, if Mao came over, he could sleep on his lap and that was always preferable to being alone but, it was more effort and his bed was also quite seductively comfortable. Phone left back where he’d picked it up from, Ritsu rolled over to get back to sleep.  
  
    Bright light accosted his closed eyes and an exasperated voice shouting something cruelly awoke Ritsu what felt like only ten minutes later. That was Mao’s voice. It couldn’t be though; Mao wouldn’t have seen the read receipt so fast, it must be Sunday morning. Although his body still ached in the exact same way it had when he’d last awoken.  
  
“Ritsu I know you’ve been awake today, come on, it’s pretty much night already!” Opening his eyes he confirmed it was Mao, a very distressed Mao who must have been checking if Ritsu had read his message or not. Acting on almost instinct, Ritsu did the only thing he could think of to try and get him to be quiet, reached out and tried to pull Mao into bed with him.  
  
“Ma~kun, come cuddle, I’m still tired and I hurt.” He saw Mao’s expression soften, good, he might win this, not only more sleep, but more sleep being able to cuddle Mao without even having to get out of bed.  
  
“You’re always tired.” Mao wasn’t wrong about that, “Come on, Ritsu, we’re both busy with different things lately so I hardly get to see you. You’re the one who usually complains about not getting to spend time with me aren’t you?”  
  
Staring down at him from just outside of grabbing distance, Mao had his hands on his hips and was attempting to look stern. Ritsu could see through the stern look but he could also now tell that yeah, he probably wasn’t going to get his best case scenario of cuddling in bed as he slept.  It wasn’t until Ritsu gave in and sat up, his back complaining as he did (maybe he wasn’t all that off the mark when he jokingly called himself an old man), that Mao moved. Moved to go find casual clothes in Ritsu’s draws for him to put on, rather than moving in any desirable way.  
  
    Struggling around the kitchen despite every muscle in his body complaining against it had been worth it in the end, now that he was curled up against Mao with tea and a plate of repulsive looking cupcakes that he’d made a few nights ago on a plate in front of them. The cupcakes weren't quite his best work taste wise but Ritsu was very proud of the job he'd done decorating them, unfortunately, this made almost no one except himself game to eat them even with their eyes closed. Mao wasn't an exception to that, turning Ritsu down every time he tried to offer him one. While the situation was comfortable it was slightly odd, Mao hadn’t brought over school or unit work and he didn’t have manga with him as far as Ritsu could tell. Usually when Mao came around he always had something with him because of his masochistic keep busy all the time habits. Occasionally he’d bring his guitar over and tell Ritsu he could jump on the piano if he wanted to but Ritsu couldn’t remember the last time he’d even heard Mao speak of his guitar. Which was sad, Mao might not be good, but he looked good playing it. Maybe Mao was exhausted too and just wanted to lie about lazily. There was something too tense about him for that though, as if something was bothering Mao. Student council things maybe, he might have gotten in a fight with his unit or perhaps his sister had finally completely taken over his room leaving Mao with nowhere to sleep and he’d have to ask Ritsu to share his bed.  
  
“Ma~kun, you’re stressed.” After taking one last sip of his tea, Ritsu set the cup down and shuffled about so he could see Mao’s face better.  
  
“I guess I am a bit, though when aren’t I?” Mao laughed, “I seem to search out stress.”  
  
“You should stop that ma~kun, you’ll go grey and your hair will fall out and nobody will want you as an idol then,” Ritsu teased, “If it’s the Student Council I’ll kill whoever’s making you like this.”  
  
“Don’t kill anyone.” Mao said sternly, then sighed, sounding like he would resign himself to opening up. “Ritsu, you know that really intrusive question I asked you a couple of weeks ago?”  
  
Ritsu wishes said question hadn’t jumped right to the front of his brain. Dread fills him and he wishes he hadn’t put down his tea cup so he had something to grip out of his own now building stress.  
  
“Mhmmm,” he hummed, not really wanting to speak in case something in the tone of his voice gave off how nervous this subject made him.  
  
“I realised that I shouldn’t have asked you that,” Mao bit his lip, his eyes darting around the room as if not knowing where to look. Ritsu wished he’d hurry up and get this over with so he could go back to pretending it had never happened, “Not without letting you know how I felt first at least.”  
  
“What do you mean, Ma~kun?” Ritsu did pick up his teacup again, even though his nails were blunt, digging them into the palms of his hands as he had been still hurt.  
  
“I….” Mao had never looked so nervous in his life and if Ritsu wasn’t just seeing things, the hand furthest away from him was trembling. Ritsu’s heart felt like it was about to jump out of his throat, the way Mao kept pausing was killing him, “I really like you, Ritchan.”  
  
Ritsu was pretty sure he was still asleep, that he’d dreamed Mao coming over to drag him out of bed.  He froze, expecting a sign proving this was a dream to happen or for Mao to start laughing and telling him it was a joke. Mao wasn’t cruel like that though. Mao wouldn’t intentionally play with his feelings. It had to be a dream then.  
  
“Ritchan?” Mao asked hesitantly, when his face came back into focus for Ritsu he looked scared and vulnerable.  
  
“Ma~kun, pinch me.” He demanded _, ‘prove to me that this is all real and not just my wildest dreams coming true’._  
  
“Pinch you?” Confusion was added into the mix of vulnerable and scared on his face.  
  
“Yeah, so I know I’m not dreaming.” It was Ritsu’s turn to look scared, he knew his face was betraying how worried he felt.  
  
Mao broke into laughter, disbelieving but kind and genuine. It was confusing at first until Ritsu realised this probably wasn’t how Mao had expected him to respond to his confession. Could this mean that his confession was real no dreaming, no cruel jokes, Mao did like him?  
  
“Ma~kun, if you do like me,” Ritsu paused not only to set down his tea cup again but also to arrange the words he was about to say in his head, “Then, I’ll answer your question from back then, I like you too.”  
  
Ritsu couldn’t even process irritation at being touched when Mao wrapped his arms around him, instinctively responding by hugging Mao back. Everything was so overwhelming as he came to terms with the past five minutes. Mao was laughing again, it was such a pretty laugh.  
  
“This means you’re stuck with me forever, you know?” Ritsu found Mao’s laughing infectious, it made it hard for him to finish where he was trying to go with his sentence, “You have to say you’ll be my boyfriend.”  
  
It sounded like Mao was attempting to stop laughing, taking deep breaths in order to calm himself down. Finally, completely red faced and still smiling wider than Ritsu had thought previously possible, he looked up at Ritsu.  
  
“I’ll be your boyfriend, I-” Mao’s words were cut off by Ritsu pressing his lips to his in a chaste kiss. Ritsu couldn’t remember a time where he’d been happier than he was in this moment.  
  
“You know Ma~kun, I’ve been wishing this would happen for a very long time.” Ritsu leaned his forehead against Mao’s as he spoke, their lips almost touching still.  
  
“I’m sorry that I was so dense, I’m a real idiot when it comes to things like this,” Mao pulled his face back, which Ritsu was about to take offense at before Mao continued, “Sorry, your breath tickles.”  
  
“You might be an idiot but you’re my idiot.” If he couldn’t have their faces together then pushing Mao pack into the couch and laying half on top of him was a good substitute. “My idiot boyfriend Ma~kun.”  
  
“Oh, uh, don’t get mad Ritsu but we probably shouldn’t tell people at school, in case someone who wants to hurt our careers once we’ve debuted uses it against us,” Mao sounds really hesitant, Ritsu understands where he’s coming from though, the idol world is cruel and harsh and Ritsu is too happy about this in the first place to be upset by Mao being logical, “Narukami will probably be able to figure it out though. And I really ought to tell the rest of Trickstar.”  
  
“Yeah Nacchan just knows things like that, that’s okay though, he’s the last person who’ll use it against us. I guess you should tell them too, probably. Being an idol sucks.” He tilts his head up at Mao, “Did I say I was going to debut?”  
  
“No but you’ve said stuff before about why you wanted to be an idol that led me to think that you would.” Mao pauses, sounding thoughtful, “It’d be a waste if you didn’t though, you’re so talented and last night only cemented that in my mind, you were born to be on stage.”  
  
Ritsu’s pretty sure he’s blushing darker than Mao was before. Mao’s right at least, he does intend to debut. No other job has seemed remotely as appealing since he got caught up in the dream of becoming an idol, not that, Ritsu supposes, he’s really cut out for any job outside of something to do with music.  
  
“Ma~kun you’re embarrassing me. I will debut though, I’ll follow you into the idol world.” Ritsu smiles cheekily, “I’ll become an idol who sings gross love songs and sing them all for you”  
  
“Ritsu!” Mao laughs in disbelief, his laughter cut off by Ritsu once again claiming his lips. It will suck having to sneak around and hide their relationship for the next however many years they both last in the industry but Ritsu doesn’t care. As long as Mao is doing that sneaking around and hiding with him, it’s more than he could ever have dreamed of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this didn't all end too rushed. With the holiday season kicking in I won't have time to write during that and I wanted to get this up before then.

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently it's incredibly easy to type Map instead of Mao when you’re writing his name so much and and some paragraphs were reading like a Ritsu/the map from dora the explorer fanfic before I proof read.  
> Also I've not been into enstars that long so I hope I managed to nail the characters, I was trying to write a "start going out in highschool" scenario for a different series when I started writing this to try overcome my writers block and I had trouble stopping. Currently that fic is at like, 700 words while this is at ten times as many, whoops.


End file.
